It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
