What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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