woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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