I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
