the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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