I hate all girls vehemently.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
