You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
