you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
