Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
be right there i have to get my cape
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
