All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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