it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
