I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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