Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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