so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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