You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Boobs are out for the taking
Randomize
