I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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