It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
