Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
