just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
that's an acceptable place to lick
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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