Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
