Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
