He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have feelings that need drinking.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
