I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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