Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
