I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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