Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
