Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize