We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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