You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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