i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
