What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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