I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
