why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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