hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
found the other keg... it's in the tree
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
