Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I enjoy the company of your penis
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
