another moral hangover. fuck.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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