Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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