Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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