i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
