$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
