wanna go halves on a baby?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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