OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the condom got lost in my hair
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize