he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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