Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
