Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The ass gains better be worth it
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