i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
