why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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