Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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