brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
