Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
