She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize