:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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