I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
