You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
