Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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