so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize