its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
