There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
