ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
