white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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