She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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