i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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