please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
