i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
