I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
