you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hippo gnu deer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
