That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i love accidental penises.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
