Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
