Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
