we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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