if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
