i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
