Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
