Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
operation have a gay friend backfired
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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