I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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