My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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