Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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