So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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