Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
